Summer Camps Can Teach the Boys Life Skills Success Like Keeping it Clean; Plus Insights on that First Week Fear of Homesickness

By alumnus Isaac S. Peterson (1987-1995)

“No, WE’RE the cleanest cabin!” and a Data-Backed Glance at Homesickness

One immediate practical benefit for sending boys to summer camp? A cleaner house and room (at least for a little while). Michael Thompson, PhD., Boston’s international child psychology expert and author of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys, noted, “ ‘Camp directors have drawers full of letters from parents thanking them for sending back a child who is suddenly willing to do chores.’ ” That is according to a quote from Maclean’s positive review of Thompson’s 2012 book on summer camps, Homesick and Happy. The child now puts errant socks in the hamper and “ ‘. . . helps with dishes, the parents write, suggesting that there has been some kind of magical transformation.’ ”

A boy who’s better at cleaning up. That’s great for when they get home. But when they leave for the first time, that’s tougher for the caregivers and the boy.

In this post, we’ll look at the camp tradition of “inspection” and how it adds a tool to the toolbox by forging the skill of self-control and self-directed order. Then, we’ll look at the social dimension of that first week at camp and that universal challenge of homesickness.

Summer Camp: Learning Self-Control through Order

Let’s talk briefly about Thompson’s before-and-after super-nanny-level transformation in cleanliness.

At WLC, boys will literally compete to see who’s the best at cleaning and putting things away. There is a weekday cabin “inspection,” and every cabin competes for who gets the highest number. If they have to clean their room five days per week at camp, eventually, it saves a lot of time to just keep it clean. Learning self-control.

Competing for the Cleanest Room: “Inspection”

• Each cabin gets a score for how clean it is. Like an algorithm, multiple dimensions comprise the score and things are rated for how orderly they are. Here are some of them.
• Did the boys sweep up the dust and errant pine needles tracked in on wet flip-flops?
• Are the bunks made?
• Is the trunk or the duffel bag in order? Are the clean socks in neatly stacked bundles?
• Are the swimsuits and towels hung neatly and evenly on the clothesline outback, or does it look like the pond next to a Phish concert?

Inspection Continued: Order Can Be Fueled by Competing at Life Skills

Whatever the situation, boys of any age are motivated to compete and strongly value competition, according to Harvard Business Review. This healthy harnessing of the urge to win can communicate itself into something new and something clean.

Inspection ratings are read during lunch, and this is the quietest you will hear the boys at WLC for the whole summer: when a counselor reads out those scores. Boys will shush the people at their table to hear their score. And if their cabin gets a high mark, there’s a Stanley Cup-ceremony-level eruption from the winners.

Summer camp can teach life skills with the built-in value of teamwork. Cleaning up is an invaluable skill for a shared dorm room at high school or college and for the home office. Being clean and putting stuff back where it goes will communicate itself into every part of a boy’s future.

Summer Camp Means Making New Friends but Also Missing Home

There’s no way around it; dropping off a son, grandson or nephew at camp is hard. The things you’ve heard child experts say on NPR about kids creating self-esteem and how children need to develop an ability to navigate the world–all of it melts right there when you’re dropping off the boy. He lumbers off towards the cabin laden down with his baseball bat, and pillow, his counselor holding the other end of his trunk. And then it sinks in; he’s growing up. There’s no other word for it: bittersweet. That boy feels it too, and he’ll later say the same thing: it was bittersweet.

The first few days might be more bitter than sweet, and homesickness is a normal part of the camp experience, says Thompson in Homesick and Happy. He’s speaking from experience, not just books. Thompson, an expert often featured on NPR talking about kids developing self-esteem, is a one-time American Camp Association board member. He remarks how it’s normal for kids to miss home. This shows that you, as a caretaker, have a home worth missing; you’re doing something right.

According to an in-depth American Academy of Pediatrics study, homesickness isn’t just after the drop-off. It can actually crop up at the idea of future temporary separation from family, hometown, and familiar foods.

The AAP study cited an article specifically about boys at a sleep-away camp. According to AAP, that cited study showed that regarding homesickness “With preventive interventions, this trajectory can be altered significantly.” It can’t be entirely prevented but can be lessened with the right approach. Published by the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, this cited study gave homesickness prevention training and kits to 75 boys headed for sleepaway camp. It showed that such preparation can indeed “diminish the negative emotional intensity of homesickness.”

Communication about the possible fears the boy might have is essential. On-site, our trained counselors know that he might be the fearless junior king of the roost at home, but here at camp he misses Mom, Dad, pizza rolls, his dog and Xbox. Counselors and staff take the time to meaningfully communicate with the boy and comfort him in those rocky first few days until he’s cannonballing off the high dive at the waterfront with undisguised glee.

Fun Can Effectively Do Anything for Boys

The different styles of fun will alleviate the challenges of being away from home and will catalyze the life skills every boy learns at William Lawrence Camp. The blueprint for everything at WLC calls for fun. It is the unpaved fifth cornerstone. Willingness, Loyalty, Comradeship, Sportsmanship (and Fun). You won’t find the cornerstone in the foundation because the boys took it and are seeing who can lift that stone or throw it the farthest or they’re trying to drop it off the dock and see how big a splash the stone will make. But it’s there and every skill and experience will be shaped by it.